The Adventures Of AftCrack And Stinkbot
by Aozoran
Summary: XD What happens when your mind runs just a little rampant and Decepticons threaten you from the strangest corner! A work by Aozoran and AngelicCrossplay
1. First Adventure

**Author's Note:** Couldn't help this one XD Anj and I just kept tossing the ideas around and well XD this is what resulted ^^ this is my part and hopefully soon we'll be able to introduce you to Stinkbot XD The toilet plunger!

**Dedicated to Anj:** Let our Imaginations Expand!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own transformers ^^ but Aftcrack and Stinkbot are the property of both AngelicCrossplay and Aozoran XD hehehehehehe ^^

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**The Adventures Of Aftcrack And Stinkbot**

**The First Adventure- The Reason For Becoming A Portaloo**

It has been said that there is one Decepticon amongst the ranks of Megatron's forces that is more feared than even good old Megs himself, even Starscream will give him a wide birth. What? I hear you ask. I know it sounds corny... I know its been said before and been the bane of existences like the Mary Sues that pop up throughout the fandom.

But trust me when I say Aftcrack is the most reverenced of all Decepticons for both his deviousness and ultimate weapon. His name unfortunately says it all, Aftcrack. "Butt-Crack" to humans or any other bipedial creatures that have the necessary flesh to produce a similar posterior region that has a cleft.

Now, you may know that Skids and Mudflap once masqueraded as a rather convincing ice-cream van, which was a rather good disguise... Though... not as good as Aftcrack could produce.

You think your safe when using the loo, even in the world of Transformers the bathroom was sacred, despite Bumblebee's attempts to 'lubricate' on the previous enemy number Seven and define him as being a toilet (if this became true is open to interpretation). But I must warn you now, it isn't.

The toilet is no longer a safe haven.

You have been warned!

Beware the Portaloo Decepticon!

"I am Aftcrack. My alt mode is a Portaloo. My mission... to capture and interrogate humans by way of the anal probe. FEAR ME!"

Now, this is rather odd even coming from a Decepticon, transforming into a portaloo. But consider all the benefits that you indeed gain from such a form!

Maybe for the benefit of myself... or those who like lists. Maybe the pros and cons of this particular mode should be taken into account.

**Pros**

You are trusted and can easily catch the unwary, as no one would think that a Loo might just transform right there and then around you.

You can be transported easily on the back of another vehicle and be easily mistaken for the real thing.

You do not need to worry about undressing your occupant as they have already half done this for you.

You have an unlimited supply of ammo that can be used to blind or incapacitate your opponent especially those with sensitive noses (poor Ratchet!)

You can wait patiently until your target actually comes to you! No need for chasing. XD

Also your odour will drive any enemies you might make away and save you the trouble of fighting. Even Megatron wouldn't wish to take you on...

You can change your size at will to target not only humans but also Transformers in need of a 'rest-stop'.

**Cons**

You never get a bathroom break because you are the bathroom.

No one ever comes around for a visit or to play pranks on you because you can always get the coolest revenge.

Ratchet can get you with the Wrench of Doom from a distance to prevent you coming closer...

You are the butt/aft of many jokes.

People sit on you.

People sing in you.

People do those damned crosswords that take them an hour... while still sitting in you.

You are constantly running out of toilet paper...

You never escape your eventual fate... being stuck in your alt mode and being carted off with the real portaloos when the fair is over and never being seen again.

**Conclusion**

As you can see there is a significant number of points for both sides, but still in a way the pros out way the cons and thus there is a significantly good reason why one should be able to transform into a portaloo.

You will always get the last laugh!

Because the Poo is on them.


	2. Second Adventure

**Author's Note: **XD Anj came up with the idea for what he would turn out to be^^ XD and she's brilliant! I hope you enjoy my continuing madness ^^ Please review if you do enjoy this strange little fic of mine^^

**Disclaimer: **I don't own transformers. I wish I did, but I own Aftcrack and Stinkbot belongs to AngelicCrossplay^_______^

**Dedicated to:** All those out there with a warped sense of humour!

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**The Second Adventure- Why Your Best Friend Should Be A Toilet Plunger**

Now that we have decided that becoming a Portaloo is a reasonably good idea, it would be beneficial to consider what friends you would need to have around… I mean, one can't always be scaring everyone away all the time, can they? What if you get stuck in alt mode? Who's going to give you a good bash over the head and get it working again?

There are several possibilities that can be considered for the role (no, not toilet roll) of a best friend for a rather smelly and dangerous Decepticon. Maybe another list might help with this one? Who knows what the suggestions might be?

**A Toilet Roll (A roll for a role?)**

This one is mainly beneficial when you need to clean up, you always have him on hand to assist.

However, one of the main problems with this particular alt mode would be the fact that you would keep running out of paper… Though you could be quite large in size because of the fact you would be a Transformer… You would still eventually run out.

You would be unable to stay out in the rain… you would get too soggy!

You can't work out if people want to scrunch or fold toilet paper and so your mind is never made up over things.

Someone might decide to buy you if your not careful!

Someone might steal you. For those horrible camping trips where you get left behind in the bushes and never get found again.

You could be recycled as cardboard waste when you forget to reload your paper!

**A Human Plumber (Are you serious?)**

Two words: CRACK WARS!

As everyone knows, plumbers have the largest and most hideous weapon in their arsenal (arse? Why does that have to be in the word?): The Plumber's Crack. This would completely and utterly defeat the purpose of Aftcrack, as it would most probably scare all the possible 'patrons' away.

The fact is you would be human. And we all know humans are 'ugly bags of mostly water' and all Decepticons hate humans.

You would need to pay him for his services. (When have Decepticons paid anyone?)

They only work for an hour or so at a time before going for a lunchbreak or a coffee break or a smoke break or… to get more things from their van… or… You get the idea?

You would have to be human to be this? Unless you wish to be like an Alice XD

**An Exhaust Fan (Blow that smell away? Wouldn't that defeat the purpose?)**

First point, you need a power source to work. Now question is, where would you plug in? I don't think Aftcrack would want to go that far with anyone…

Secondly, though you are a deadly weapon with spinning blades and everything, you would be defeating the initial purpose of your best friend being a Portaloo and being rather smelly. You would 'de-stink-ify' him!

You will most likely end up as a pile of scrap metal after Aftcrack is done with you for spoiling his smell.

**Soap (That would be a little odd… maybe… possibly?)**

Though they would be a good combination, as you could make everything rather slippery and aid Aftcrack in his quest to 'probe' those humans… BEWARE THE ANAL PROBE XD

The simple fact is, just like the toilet roll, you would eventually run out. However, instead of being able to reload the fact remains is… you will no longer exist.

You are constantly shrinking in size.

You end up with little fluffy bits stuck to you…

You end up covered in little hairs if people forget you in the wrong place too long…

You have a good method for escape and no one can catch you when wet… but you also would have problems attempting to remain still…

You get left on the floor…

You can trip people… but you also get left with a nasty shoe print!

Eventually you will have to be replaced completely.

**A Toilet Plunger (now here is a good design!)**

And finally to the toilet plunger! Built for strength and durability you will definitely be around for quite a while.

You have the ability to unclog your friend when he needs it so that he can continue his work catching humans and Transformers.

You can hold your enemies in place.

You can come in a variety of shapes, colours and designs and can change when you get tired of one.

You can attack enemies on your own and also be wielded as a weapon to blind your enemies by sticking to their faces.

You don't mind the smell!

You might even come to smell yourself.

You have options for a career change to be a suction cup to hold something up if you get bored.

It's a perfect partnership.

**Conclusion**

Out of the five options listed above, the most appropriate and beneficial for a new Decepticon to become is a toilet plunger as you can both defend yourself and defend your best friend from attack at close range. But also you would always have employment!

I proudly present to you the bot with more suction then an industrial vacuumcleaner…

"Stinkbot! Greatest of all suckers."

Take that lollypops!


End file.
